Shoot! You just missed it!
He did it! In a culmination of months of rigorous preparation, DJ Jesús has managed to break the world record for holding his arms out, achieving the milestone after an astounding three days and three nights of standing on a plinth!
Now he wants to give YOU a chance to share in the historic moment! Up for auction today is a completely one-of-a-kind, bespoke, artisanal dildo handcrafted by the fine folks over at SinspirationsⓇ. Featuring a variable-speed motor for adjustable vibration and at least 6 different motion-activated voice lines, it's the ultimate piece of memorabilia for fans of DJ Jesús or people interested in the world record for holding your arms out. Or dildos, I guess.
But hurry, because with only one in stock for all time, supplies are extremely limited! Put your bid in for this incredible item today before it's too late!